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Visit Hugo C. Gonzalez 76's column >>

HUGO C. GONZALEZ 76

Articles Posted: 502  Links Seeded: 44
Member Since: 7/2008  Last Seen: 5/20/2012

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Darken Anticipation. (short story, part 7)

Fri Apr 9, 2010 1:00 AM EDT
fiction, story, writers, write, short-story
By Hugo C. Gonzalez 76
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Part 6 here.

The rest of the shift was rather uneventful for Nurse Kay, just the routine, keeping the accident victim comfortable and stable. The Police had not found any identification on the victim, so was a John Doe. Regardless of the fact, she cared for all her patients equally great.

"Stay with me," Nurse Kay whispered into John Doe's ear.

"John," she continued.

Nurse Kay knew that John was probably not the patient's name but she was the type of nurse that could not stand and do nothing, besides she believed that a little interaction, even with coma patients, went a long way to help in the recovery.

It was nearing Nurse Kay's end of her shift and she was at the front desk of the Intensive Care Unit, when she heard the familiar sound of the elevator arriving to the floor. She paid no attention. A man suddenly stood in front of her with the most beautiful bouquet of roses she had ever seen, red and yellow. As she looked up, she recognized the face, it was John.

________________________

John had investigated the 2nd floor fairly well, to his satisfaction, half the lights had been left on, all the doors where locked and he could not find anything suspicious or out of the ordinary. After about an hour he decided to head to the bar and drink himself the perfectly cold beer he had been dreaming off all afternoon. He went back to the elevator and pressed the Lobby button. As he was exiting the office building and headed towards his car he felt a sharp pain in his back, lower towards his waits, he immediately went to one knee. From behind he felt someone grab his shoulder and rip his jacket off. There was no struggle, John was powerless, the pain was starting to fade quickly. His jacket was ripped off and he felt hands on his pockets. He went unconscious. The last thing he was thinking of as he fell into the darkness was if only he had not checked the 2nd floor, if only he had gone straight to the bar, if only he had not.....

_______________________

Nurse Kay quickly went around the front desk and gave John a huge hug and kiss, they had become very close friends while his stay in the ICU due to the stab wound in his lower back and the blood loss.

"John," she almost screamed.

"That's what kept me fighting in there," John stated, "your voice calling out to me."

John had a difficult recovery and a more difficult exit from his dark dream of the second floor. Every time the office building's elevators stop at the second floor he can feel a little of the darken anticipation he felt that unexpected night.

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  • Public Discussion (5)
Hugo C. Gonzalez 76

My first ever short story complete, a bit anticlimactic?

    Reply#1 - Fri Apr 9, 2010 1:01 AM EDT
    Bruce Dinsman-1568906

    Actually no, nice ending. Do you have the whole thing in a single file? I could copy, paste, edit and resend. I really think you should do something with this.

      Reply#2 - Fri Apr 9, 2010 6:06 PM EDT
      Hugo C. Gonzalez 76

      Yes I actually do. I am thinking of putting it on the website you told me before.

        Reply#3 - Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:25 AM EDT
        Bruce Dinsman-1568906

        Make sure you edit it carefully. Download the formatting information and consider a cover as if it were a book. They are actually setting up for Amazon, Ipad, etc formats.

          Reply#4 - Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:46 PM EDT
          Hugo C. Gonzalez 76

          got it, thank you, now I got to think of a good drawing, ,thinking of something very olds school, shadows and simple.

            #4.1 - Mon Apr 12, 2010 2:02 AM EDT
            Reply
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